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6th INSTALLMENT

HURRICANE DANETTE
THE SELF-DESTRUCTIVE HURRICANE


Day 7:

Woke up – ate breakfast, went to the pool by 9:30am. Stayed ‘till noon or so. Went back to the room to change and take more pics. The water was not working in the room and neither was the TV. Figured it must be due to the construction. They probably figured everyone would be OUT by the pool on this fine beautiful day. So, good sports we are – we take off – back to the lobby area and decide to get lunch and relax outside. We went to the gift shop to buys some last minute gifts and to get a bunch of beer to take back to the room. We were gone about 2 hours. Get back to the room and Mark takes off to get ice. The TV is working by now – so I decide to run the Jacuzzi ( YES – I got addicted to the damn thing). Still no water and I have to pee. How can I drink those beers and not go potty? What to do? Called the front desk – they were very apologetic and said “30 more minutes”. Well – that meant another hour. We passed the time, drinking our beers, taking pictures and watching TV. This was probably the only time I was slightly frustrated – I mean – do NOT mess with the bladder or the butt (I needed my hydrotherapy). Water was back and running full speed and we ended up in the Jacuzzi at last!!! Day 7 – almost over and things are going good! Well – except for those blisters on my back…..

I have to back track – just a little. Might as well tell you about the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Friday evening – I started to notice that my back hurt, and I noticed two “bumps” at the small of my back. It kinda hurt and itched a little. I tried to ignore it – hence the 2 bottles of wine later this night. On Saturday – these things were HUGE. They looked like boils (I’ve never seen a boil – but imagine it may look like this). Anyway – this is part of the reason I did not want to stay at the pool all day Saturday. Didn’t want anyone to notice me (the girl with the limp, the scarlet legs, the bleeding heels and the two HUGE blisters on her back). ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH. So this probably contributed to my frustration on Saturday – with the water, etc.

On with Day 7:

We had brought food back with us to munch on in the room. We asked the maid to come back to the room to make that cute little swan towel by the Jacuzzi. See – I wanted a picture of the cute little thing – just to show why I didn’t want to mess it up the first night! Well!!!!! It was cute – if you saw it – you wouldn’t want to use it either!! Decided to try the Italian restaurant for dinner. I put on one of my little spandex dressed and we were on our way. Except that you could see these two big bumps on my back, under my dress. It probably wasn’t as bad as I say it was – but is sure felt like it. I became aware of it at the restaurant (no way were we going all the way back to change). Feeling ver self-conscious now. “Waiter – I’ll have a BOTTLE of Mexican Red Wine, please. Oh – and bring the gentleman whatever he prefers.” Did the buffet thing – very good food. Loved the Eggplant Parmiseana. I also ordered from the menu. Well – I had to drown my sorrow (depressed about leaving the next day and all of my mishaps) in alcohol and food. We were serenaded and waiter asked if we wanted anything else. I asked for another bottle of wine – but Mark said I was being too “greedy”. Whatever. So – no more wine for me. The waited did make me a very nice little tulip from a beverage napkin – as a consolation. Okay – so I pouted a little. Anyway – Mark took me to the gift shop where we bought 10 beers to take back to the room. Well – I guess my little mishaps had finally gotten the best of me. I decided to just go to bed and left Mark with the ten beers and the TV.

Day 8:

Got up early this morning and started packing. Mark went to get breakfast and I stayed behind. There was a storm brewing outside and I decided to get some pictures. The rain finally cam and with it – lots of thunder and lightening. Mark comes back – drenched. We get our stuff together and head for the lobby – in the rain (not too bad by this time). Our shuttle leaves at 10:40. It’s about 9:00 when we get there. We check out and wait. Mark doesn’t feel too well (could it possibly be the 10 beers from the night before?). He blames it on too much breakfast (too many eggs and hot sauce). I spot the alcohol. Go for it. Have to be on a plane in a few hours and after all my mishaps, well – you get the idea. Found vodka and mineral water. Had 3 very strong ones. Not enough. See the guys pouring Sex On The Beach mixture – get a couple of those and mix it with vodka. Then I move on to beer. Finally the shuttle picks us up and I get another beer from the driver. Once at the airport – I get two more. Okay – NOW I’m prepared to fly (seeing as I already am). We get on the plane and we end up flying right over the Moon Palace. That’s when it finally hits me – We’re leaving – We’re really leaving!!! OH – I wanted to cry. But I didn’t EVEN get to do ½ the things I wanted. OKAY – SOMEONE STOP THIS PLANE RIGHT NOW – I’VE CHANGED MY MIND – I WANT TO STAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!! Alright – maybe the alcohol affected my emotions just a little bit. But still – it was sad. So – I had me a few more beers on the way home (you know – to help me assimilate). When we got back home (San Antonio), the guy at customs asked if we lived there. I stared at him – gave him a pissy look and said, “Yeah – Unfortunately”. So – like I said – my emotions were adversely affected. HAHA.

And so the story ends – sort of. You know those blisters on my back? Well guess what? These weren’t just any blisters. Nope. They were Shingles (??). Yeah – Shingles. Brought on by STRESS no less. Can you believe that Sh&T?? Stress??? I was on my vacation. What stress? We did NOTHING but relax the whole damn time!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN STRESS????!!! So what? I fell on my butt, I burned my legs, I skinned my heels – but hey – THAT could happen to anyone!!! STRESS?!!?!?!

Well see – I wanted to have fun on this vacation sooooo bad – that I psyched myself up for it for 2 months in advance. We were gonna have fun regardless of what happened – Dammit. Well – all that chin up crap took it’s toll and now I have shingles. I can just see it now – “I went to Cancun and I’ll I got was a busted butt, burned legs, blistered heels and shingles!” Well – regardless – I truly enjoyed my trip to Cancun and I would recommend this place to anyone. It is absolutely magnificent!! And if I can have fun – anyone can – Believe me.

Hope I didn’t bore anyone with too much personal detail – since we really didn’t explore Cancun to it’s fullest. Oh well, there is always next time. Who knows? Maybe I’ll top this trip with more mishaps. I told Deb they should name a Caribbean Hurricane after me: Hurricane Danette – The Disaster waiting to happen. Destroys nothing in her path (unlike Mark – hehehe) – just herself. Danette – The Self-Destructive Hurricane!

Submitted by: Danette -- DanetteM1@yahoo.com
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